Peking Dogg Lesson 3: 打飞机

This is just a quick vocab lesson. The Chinese slang for "to cum" is 打飞机 (da feiji) or "hit the airplane." Just thought I'd let you know.

It's true, ass city

BREAKING NEWS....actually, not all.


Shmo**
AIM
7:39
if only i were gay
7:39
man
7:39
if i were gay
7:39
i'd get soooooooooooooooo much ass
7:40
it would be out of control

molls****
AIM
7:41
AAHAHH
7:41
youre right
7:41
do you think about that a lot?

Shmo**
AIM
7:41
sometimes
7:41
when i get lonely
7:42
i think to myself
7:42
if i were gay
7:42
i wouldn't be lonely
7:42
so then i try think about a man sexually. And instead of getting hard i wanna throw up a little. So i guess its just a moot point
7:42
but man
7:42
the sudden realization that i was gay
7:42
would be a blessing
7:43
most people would probably freak out
7:43
i would just think
7:43
oh shit i'm never going to have to worry about ejaculating ever again

molls****
AIM
7:45
i dont even know where to begin

Shmo**
AIM
7:45
its true
7:45
ass city
7:45
curse my genetics for making me straight
7:45
have you ever thought of what a gay bar or lesbian bar is acutally like for them?
7:45
YOU CAN FUCK EVERYBODY THEIR
7:45
EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THAT BAR
7:46
IS OPEN TO YOU FUCKING THEM
7:46
a normal bar
7:46
have guys half girls
7:46
all competing for the other half
7:46
so not only do you have to worry about finding the right girl who is appealing to you
7:46
you have to worry about the other half of the bar
7:46
getting to her first

molls****
AIM
7:47
what else attracts you about the gay lifestyle?

Shmo**
AIM
7:47
you can say sexist things and get away with it


There's more but it gets freaky and raw and this is a family blog.

The Craziest Shit I've Ever Done

So, last night, after going to a German restaurant and drinking all-you-can-drink beer until closing time, I decided it would be a great idea to break into the Chinese Olympic Stadium, also known as The Bird's Nest, and steal some shit.

So after getting dropped off by the cab near some gate to a migrant worker camp, my three friends and myself start planning our entrance. We knew how to say International Olympic Quality Committee in Chinese, so we decided to go with that. We're American inspectors for the International Olympic Quality Committee coming to inspect the construction of the new stadium. And just in case, we all had 100 RMB bills in our hands.

We walked through the gate, and started to celebrate, thinking we'd just made it into the stadium without any problems, then a guard started shouting at us and we freeze. This is when our first stroke of genius comes in. The guard tells us we have to leave, but, in broken Chinese, we plead that we just want to look around and we're Americans and we can't make it to the Olympics so we just want to see the beautiful stadium because it's so impressive. After about 10 minutes of this, he finally lets us in, for a price of course...

So we were on the compound, but we had to cross a field that reminded me of 1942 Stalingrad. Trenches, barbed wire, heavy machinery, and flood lights were everywhere. We cross the field, avoiding several guards and workers, and get to the stadium itself. Well, then there was nothing to do but start climbing. After finding a staircase, we climbed over the guardrail and starting walking up to the top tier. This is when stroke of genius no. 2 hits, and we decide we should probably piss everywhere. One of my friends drops a deuce in the middle of the stairwell. It was not pretty, but it had to be done.

Finally we get to the top tier, after running across a steel girder spanning a 200 foot drop. This is about when I called fellow bloggers, only one of whom answered. You know who you are.

Ok, this is getting long, so I'll sum up. We got out into the seats (which was an amazing view) and found a box and decided it needed to be opened, and it turned out it contained like 15 seats that hadn't been installed yet, so we all stole one. Now I have a seat from the Olympics in my closet sitting on my laundry and I have to find a way to bring it home and turn it into a chair so I can put it in my room at school and show it off.

Ok I'm out.

A Dogg