Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Things I never knew. And Maybe Wish I Didn’t.

So I was talking to these two girls here in my dorm about getting high. We were talking about things we like to do while high: watching movies, reading, doing arty things, and what have you…When I said oh shit! We forgot the best thing to do while high. One of the girls turned to me and said “Sleep?” Very close I said. Fuck! The girl who said sleep looks over and says: “Hell no.” And I’m just flat out astounded. How is that possible, I ask her? “I have a thing about being touched when I’m high. I don’t like it. It makes having sex while stoned nearly impossible.” Fair play. The other girl agrees with me that it is, indeed, wonderful. And then drops this little gem. “But only sometimes.” And so I ask her why only sometimes…and well there is a long pause while she thinks about what she is going to say next.


“Well you know how you sometimes you cottonmouth when you get high?”

Sure I said.

“Yeah…well…”

I drink some water? I mean if you drink some water, kissing isn’t bad at all while stoned. You can nip that cottonmouth right in the bud. Drink some water, make out, drink some water. Fuck. Drink some water. No need to really worry about cottonmouthing if you are prepared, says I.

“No. You don’t get it. I’m not really talking about cottonmouth. I’m talking about cotton…you know

Wah Huh?

Neither of the girls say anything and just stare at me.

Oooooh. I get it! Cottonvag!

Wait what?

No fucking way!

“Exactly.”


I never even thought about that. I mean I guess it makes sense. But I’m wondering if this is a unique problem or a widespread problem. So I ask you ladies of this blog and fellow female posters, is cottonvag a problem? Like for real? Inquiring minds wish to know!

LDR out.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Next time I see you I'll show you the goods to put that debate to rest. You have not answered the question about cottonvag. Myth or reality?

the L word said...

i don't know i'll have to test that one out. molly, thoughts?

A Dogg said...

You guys are clearly just afraid to say it, but I think it must be true.

Anonymous said...

Man nobody said anything about my pun.

Anonymous said...

hello lube?