Thursday, September 13, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Friday, September 7, 2007
True Story
Sam Gilroy's cock is so blindingly bright he has to wear sunglasses when he takes a piss.
OMG BITCHFIGHT
Ms. Dogg, you have gone too far this time. You have forced our hand on this, and now we must formally announce an official bitchfight. We know you know what you did, but our readers (?) may not. Our grievance is threefold:
Firstly, on several occasions you FAILED to escort a sister blogger home as a deranged homeless gentleman screamed salacities in her direction and you looked on in apparent delight. Your conduct in this instance earned you a stern talking-to, but it was that time of the month and you were understandably a little cranky, though you might not want to exclude this potentially serious possibility.
Secondly, as proud Americans, we cannot overlook your occasional betrayal of suggested allegiance to certain fundamentalist Muslim countries. We all know where this slippery slope is headed, and let it be known that we will NOT come visit your ass in Guantanamo. However, we managed to open our hearts once again, only to have them immediately crushed by the most serious offense yet to come.
Said offense is so gruesome that for propriety's sake, we refuse to muddy the virtuous waters of this sacred blog with any details, but let's say it involved the cum-soaked taint of an ex-fieldston girl, a bloodied gerbil, and a Johnny Cash record. This is the last straw, and though it saddens us deeply, we must deliver a dump unto you, our former BFFAEAEAEAEAEAE.
You brought this upon yourself, bitch. It's over.
Firstly, on several occasions you FAILED to escort a sister blogger home as a deranged homeless gentleman screamed salacities in her direction and you looked on in apparent delight. Your conduct in this instance earned you a stern talking-to, but it was that time of the month and you were understandably a little cranky, though you might not want to exclude this potentially serious possibility.
Secondly, as proud Americans, we cannot overlook your occasional betrayal of suggested allegiance to certain fundamentalist Muslim countries. We all know where this slippery slope is headed, and let it be known that we will NOT come visit your ass in Guantanamo. However, we managed to open our hearts once again, only to have them immediately crushed by the most serious offense yet to come.
Said offense is so gruesome that for propriety's sake, we refuse to muddy the virtuous waters of this sacred blog with any details, but let's say it involved the cum-soaked taint of an ex-fieldston girl, a bloodied gerbil, and a Johnny Cash record. This is the last straw, and though it saddens us deeply, we must deliver a dump unto you, our former BFFAEAEAEAEAEAE.
You brought this upon yourself, bitch. It's over.
TOP SECRET SSH DON'T TELL
Omg, being friends with the koolest kid in school has some serious McPerkingtons. Word on the street (the street outside Bungalow 8!!1!!!) is that a certain fieldston celebutante was just offered his second role in a major motion picture.
This news arrives on the heels of his whirlwind European press junket for his appearance in Tony Gilroy's much lauded Michael Clayton. Fresh off the Mediterranean shores, our starlet arrived back in NYC just in time to catch the premiere of pal Clive Owen's new flick Shoot 'Em Up, and it was at the AFTERPARTY Y'ALL that things got fiercest. After briefly eating out Monica Bellucci, bumping shoulders (and lines) with MK, and autographing the cock of the indian guy from Life Aquatic, our man got down to business.
Although one too many crantinis left the blushing blonde a lil hazy on the deetz, he wasn't too drunk to forget to brag about scoring the title role in the following project......
Ladys and gentlemen, we give you Tony Gilroy's new Global-Warming-action-movie-with-a-heart... Captain Planet. OMGZ, THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST MOVIE SINCE BRATZ!
This news arrives on the heels of his whirlwind European press junket for his appearance in Tony Gilroy's much lauded Michael Clayton. Fresh off the Mediterranean shores, our starlet arrived back in NYC just in time to catch the premiere of pal Clive Owen's new flick Shoot 'Em Up, and it was at the AFTERPARTY Y'ALL that things got fiercest. After briefly eating out Monica Bellucci, bumping shoulders (and lines) with MK, and autographing the cock of the indian guy from Life Aquatic, our man got down to business.
Although one too many crantinis left the blushing blonde a lil hazy on the deetz, he wasn't too drunk to forget to brag about scoring the title role in the following project......
Ladys and gentlemen, we give you Tony Gilroy's new Global-Warming-action-movie-with-a-heart... Captain Planet. OMGZ, THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST MOVIE SINCE BRATZ!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Attention the L Word!
Found it. In case you didn't already know, Mao's hand moves up and down as it ticks.
GUESS THE PLAYA!
Yeah... I think a few more entities besides only God might be judging you right now, uhh and forever from this point on. That's a cute estimate though.
Also what is that squiggly shit all around the letters and why do they curve up like that? Did your tattoo artist have a seizure in the middle of creating this nasty or was he just laughing too hard to hold the thing steady?
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