Ms. Dogg, you have gone too far this time. You have forced our hand on this, and now we must formally announce an official bitchfight. We know you know what you did, but our readers (?) may not. Our grievance is threefold:
Firstly, on several occasions you FAILED to escort a sister blogger home as a deranged homeless gentleman screamed salacities in her direction and you looked on in apparent delight. Your conduct in this instance earned you a stern talking-to, but it was that time of the month and you were understandably a little cranky, though you might not want to exclude this potentially serious possibility.
Secondly, as proud Americans, we cannot overlook your occasional betrayal of suggested allegiance to certain fundamentalist Muslim countries. We all know where this slippery slope is headed, and let it be known that we will NOT come visit your ass in Guantanamo. However, we managed to open our hearts once again, only to have them immediately crushed by the most serious offense yet to come.
Said offense is so gruesome that for propriety's sake, we refuse to muddy the virtuous waters of this sacred blog with any details, but let's say it involved the cum-soaked taint of an ex-fieldston girl, a bloodied gerbil, and a Johnny Cash record. This is the last straw, and though it saddens us deeply, we must deliver a dump unto you, our former BFFAEAEAEAEAEAE.
You brought this upon yourself, bitch. It's over.
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1 comment:
You don't know what you've just brought upon yourselves.
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